I used to ask nuns to pray for me to be more patient. This is funny because I’m not Catholic. However, one thing I’ve learned in life is that if you have a hard task ahead that most would dismiss as hopeless, the nuns have a better than average chance of getting it done.
Knowing how busy the nuns are and being an independent sort, I waited to make my request until a myriad of other attempts (meditation, relaxation, visualization, yoga, walking, dietary changes, reframing, etc., etc., etc.) produced only lackluster results. I had an “impatience” problem and was pretty much at “my wit’s end” when I turned to an often-overlooked strategy: prayer. I prayed and I sought assistance from some of the foremost leaders in prayer in the world — the nuns.
My impatience tended to coalesce most quickly around gender injustice, although race and socioeconomic issues could also set me off. In my estimation, my impatience was entirely justified. After all, had patriarchy not been a social system in parts of the world for 5,000 + years? Be that as it may, the rage my impatience induced was unhelpful, exhausting, and taking a toll on my well-being. The “p-word” was winning again.
A memorably troubling moment occurred when a wise friend who worked with gender disparities globally (not a nun) patiently explained that impatience was “a western problem.” Gulp. The inherent truth of her words hit me in the gut. Who, but members of the most privileged societies, would be arrogant enough to assume that an issue that has dogged and impeded humanity for thousands of years could be resolved in a single lifetime? (Overdue or not.)
Being a pragmatist, I realized that if patriarchy was not going to be vanquished any time soon, I had best turn my impatience problem over to higher powers AND look more deeply at the privilege inherent in its roots. This journey began 18 years ago. I’ll always be recovering from my impatience problem and there have been more relapses along the way than I can count or care to admit. Happily the two-pronged approach of letting go and asking for help while compassionately exploring my accountability seems to have strengthened my patience muscles and freed me to engage in steadier, more productive courses of action.
Hopefully, you don’t have an impatience problem. Since you’re human, there may be something that’s causing you and the people around you to suffer more than necessary. If you’re lucky perhaps you know some nuns who can help.
Like many around the world, I’ve listened to heart-wrenching NPR and BBC accounts of the suffering, death and sorrow in India caused by COVID. When the Facebook message below popped up on my Facebook feed, I was heartened and deeply moved by Maher’s loving response to a dire humanitarian crisis. The most recently initiated acts of love include a quarantine center, short stay care for vulnerable children and adults affected by COVID, as well as food, clothing, masks, sanitizer, transportation and counseling.
A Simple Choice
India has been grappling with COVID challenges since the day in March 2020 when an immediate lockdown was adopted to stop the initial spread of the disease. Maher has been walking with the nation’s vulnerable throughout this difficult time. At Maher, the decision to offer aid is straightforward. The organization sees a need and addresses it to the best of their ability without hesitation.
Maher’s Humanity Kitchen
In March 2020, Sr. Lucy Kurien, founder and director of Maher which means “Mother’s Home” in India, watched as hundreds of people began passing Maher’s gate. They looked hungry, worn and frightened. Without hesitation, she dialed Maher’s National Center and ordered 500 meals prepared. And, so with a single phone call and lots of meal preparation, Maher’s Humanity Kitchen was born. Between March and May, Maher’s kitchen would provide 30,000 meals to displaced workers returning on foot to their home villages. The non-governmental organization founded in 1997 would do this while caring for the 1,500 women, children and men living in the community.
Shortly after that, Maher identified and responded to the food insecurity of the suddenly unemployed workers by expanding its ration program to 50,000 individuals with the realistic expectation the program would continue until people were able to return to work.
Masks, Sanitizer, Tarps, & Blankets
The organization’s production unit quickly shifted to making masks for local distribution. Approximately 10,000 masks were distributed along with hand sanitizer and information on their use before the current situation. Social distancing is far more challenging in a country with 1.4 billion people that occupies about one-third of the land mass of the United States.
During the monsoon, plastic tarpswere delivered to shelter neighbors in need from the elements. Diwali marked the annual food and blanket distribution to Maher’s vulnerable neighbors.
Rapid Response to Growing Needs
In the midst of a pandemic that has lasted longer than most of us ever imagined and caused an uptick in family violence and poverty, Maher stepped up and carefully opened four homes in three Indian states. Since the pandemic began, Maher has welcomed 249 women, 63 men and 111 children. For Maher staff opening homes, that can mean everything from clearing the property of snakes to dealing with administrative requirements all while welcoming the neediest, and often outcast, in the community.
Weddings, Births, Memorials
Even in the time of COVID, life in Maher’s 54 homes goes on. So far during the pandemic, eight socially-distanced weddings were celebrated and ten babies were born. Two more are expected later this month. Recently, when a beloved Maher volunteer died suddenly, an international Memorial Service was conducted on Facebook Live to allow the community and friends everywhere to grieve.
Academic & Values Education
Homeschooling, which can be a challenge for families everywhere, was initiated for all of Maher’s 1,000 children of school age. Computers were donated by companies to aid the effort, yet even so maintaining the interest of so many children who are the first in their families to attend school has been a challenge.
Maher staff and youth who completed the Second Standard (high school) and college pitched in to help. The effort continued even after local schools resumed because of the communal nature of the Maher homes, which each care and shelter between 20 and 30 children.
Throughout this time of sheltering in place, Maher youth have continued and expanded their practices of yoga, dance, singing, and drawing all the while learning and assisting as the community’s staff and adults aid in values-based relief efforts to help those in even greater need.
Maher, an interfaith organization where all are welcome, holds regular days of prayer and meditation for India and the world in addition to daily morning and evening meditations. Monthly Zoom calls connect, inform and uplift volunteers, donors, friends, and the staff and community members at Maher who are buoyed by the love and care of people around the world.
Sr. Lucy and a handful of senior staff members have received doses of India’s scarce vaccines. A recent update indicates that work is underway to secure vaccines for all at Maher. Here is a recent message from Sr. Lucy, “Life has become very tough for all. We are working day and night as we give more and more people shelter and food. Poverty and sorrow is everywhere. The death rate continues to increase.”
It is said that “when the going gets tough, the tough get going.” Maher has been going strong since its founding in 1997, however, perhaps never stronger than during the last 15 months.
To make a financial contribution to support Maher’s vital work during this time, please visit www.usmaherfriends.org. 100% of US Maher Friends contributions go directly to Maher. No amount is too small or large. To learn more about Maher, visit www.maherashram.org. Thank you ~
It’s hot. There’s a global pandemic. The election is 96 days away. Racial and general unrest is rocking our cities. The short- to mid-term economic outlook is, at best, uncertain. Tempers flare. Sparks fly. Blood pressure rises.
I am privileged and the fabric of my days has changed dramatically since mid-March. I go to the market, occasionally get a take-out coffee or meal, meet colleagues and friends on Zoom, and enjoy family photos and phone calls rather than in-person visits. I wear a mask when I’m out and about.
After witnessing a few particularly charged interactions, I decided to share practices that are making it easier for me to stay centered in the hope that you’ll share some of yours as well. Here they are, in no particular order:
For the last 54 days, I’ve risen early and started my day with 45 minutes of meditation and prayer,
I’m drinking lots of water – regular and coconut – aiming for roughly half the equivalent of my weight in ounces,
I do my best to spend at least as much time performing activities like reading, writing, cooking, weeding as I do on the screen,
After dinner, weather-permitting, I spend 20 minutes in the hammock staring up at the clouds, hummingbirds, owls, leaves, butterflies, bees, or whatever is right in front of me,
Three to four times a week, we take a 20+ mile bike ride to enjoy nature and move our bodies,
Three or four times a week, my yoga mat and I spend an extended time together,
When friends come to mind, I send cards, usually by local artists,
Appreciating, purchasing, preparing and serving dishes of organic, locally-grown produce has become a daily ritual,
I’m working more intently than ever to align my work, purchases and contributions with my values,
Sometimes because it’s so energizing, I just let it all go and act silly, laugh and be weird.
It’s definitely true. There are serious matters at hand. There have been for centuries and, with any luck, there will continue to be.
My intention has become to FIRST appreciate the joy and beauty of living and what is working and then move from that place. I don’t know that the new patterns I’ve formed will change as our world does and I don’t know that they won’t. My plan is to enjoy them while I can.