As a child, I never liked naps. I just knew I would miss something exciting. My life has been filled with a privileged array of arts and cultural, leisure and sporting, education and adventures activities. My challenge has been determining when “enough was enough.”
During a recent stay in Crestone, CO, the phrase “Do less. Be More” kept running through my head. A week earlier a friend had confided, “I already have more friends than I have time for.” As lovely as that is, her statement illustrates how easy it can be to fill our days.
In 2006, after conversations with our college-aged daughters, we distributed or sold most of our belongings and I headed off to the Pacific Northwest with my car, clothes, computer, a gnome and a lamp. In the interest of full disclosure, I was accompanied on the journey west by a friend who was also a therapist.
I packed three principles, which I still hold dear, for the adventure.
Principle One: “The plan is no plan.”
Principle Two: “I do everything by feel.”
Principle Three: “I let things come to me.”
The first and third I learned in Tai Chi class and the second – well, it just “came to me.”
Principle One turned out to be a godsend when the person I had arranged to rent a room from listed the property for sale nine days after my arrival.
When it was suggested that I look for a place in Olympia, Principle Two came into play. Olympia didn’t feel right. Whidbey Island did. So, I headed north in search of a place to stay.
As luck would have it, I found a rather hidden place on the island where I had stayed previously. The owner was in a hurry to catch a ferry and handed me the keys on her way out. Principle Three: The keys had come to me.
Having lived a life of plans from the moment a future partner drew a timeline of our lives on a cocktail napkin to the development and execution of one strategic plan after another, I was planned out. Living with no plan was as invigorating as the maritime air drifting in the open Whidbey Island library windows because it allowed me to be present and flow.
When I let go of what I thought should happen or wanted to make happen, there was space for magic and because I was not attached to a particular outcome, I had time to discern whether or not a situation or choice felt right.
Having no plan and letting things come to me didn’t mean I sat on the sofa all day eating bonbons. It meant there was space for things to unfold.
In time, it came to me that as wonderful as Whidbey Island is, I am not an island dweller. (Ferry schedules require too much planning.) Around that time, someone I had met with six months earlier, contacted me with a consulting opportunity. The position came to me and I moved to the city I would call home for the next seven glorious years until it came to me that it was time to move back to the Midwest to be closer to family.
Once again, I distributed most of the belongings I had accumulated, packed up my car, clothes, computer, gnome and lamp and drove back in the company of a dear friend who understood just how difficult it was going to be for me to leave.
Freeing as these principles sound, following them isn’t necessarily easy. It requires courage, patience (which has never really been a virtue) and trust. Lots and lots of trust. As we navigate the first, and I hope, only global pandemic in our lifetimes and face dizzying climate and geo-political changes, these principles – as unconventional as they may seem – allow me to remain grounded, open, and curious – most of the time. States of being I’ve found not just helpful, but energizing and alive.
Whatever principles guide you; I hope they bring you comfort, joy and well-being. And, if you haven’t dusted yours off in a while, perhaps now is the time.
Hey, CELEBRATE! You’re making FANTASTIC progress! Remember that first day on the road bike when you took a spill in the middle of Chicago Avenue and all those drivers stopped to see if you were okay? Or how about the time you put your helmet on backwards? Even we hadn’t seen that before!
We’re impressed you stuck with us given that uneven start and how much you disliked riding up – and especially DOWN – McClure Pass. That takes some chutzpah. How about the time it took you so long to descend Maroon Bells that Edward fell asleep in the car?
Clearly, you’re a slow-twitch, scenery rider. Racer – not so much. Congrats on finally getting the hang of shifting! Gone are the days when you were so shift averse you rode in the same gear for fear the chain would fall off.
Thumbs up on pumping up your tires before every ride. Even if you can change a flat – albeit very slowly and with the help of YouTube – why ruin a perfectly good ride doing so?
We heard you chanting “Keep the bike upright” long before pro cyclist Chris Horner mentioned it on The Butterfly Effect. Common sense and, as you know, easier said than done.
Fortunately, you’re doing much better with the apparel! No more wearing an undershirt in lieu of a jersey. How handy are all those pockets – especially the zippered ones for your id, credit card and patron saint cards featuring Catherine of Siena and St. Francis. That’s new. We’ve not seen other riders carry saints on their rides. But, hey, if it works for you! Weird as though the padded shorts may look off the bike, we can tell you appreciate the comfort on those long days in the saddle.
Yep, in our estimation you deserve those purple cycling shoes Edward gave you for your birthday. You took to the clip-on pedals way more gracefully than we expected given your previous track record. And while you were learning to wear them, you mastered an important cycling and life lesson. “Do it your way.” We handlebars have plenty of time to listen to you humans talk and it’s apparent to us that offering opinions is easier for most people than riding a bike.
We’ve been watching you and here are a few pointers/reminders we would like to humbly offer:
Remember to keep riding your ride and let everyone else ride theirs.
Stay true to your objectives – fun, fitness, scenery.
When in doubt, breathe. Holding your breath takes pedaling energy.
Keep ridin’ with that smile. It reminds those drivers that this is supposed to be fun, right?
Stay with it. You’ve already ridden in three states and three nations which means we still have a lot of ground to cover.