Category Archives: Mindfulness

“Patience,” she laughs . . .

I used to ask nuns to pray for me to be more patient.  This is funny because I’m not Catholic.  However, one thing I’ve learned in life is that if you have a hard task ahead that most would dismiss as hopeless, the nuns have a better than average chance of getting it done.

Knowing how busy the nuns are and being an independent sort, I waited to make my request until a myriad of other attempts (meditation, relaxation, visualization, yoga, walking, dietary changes, reframing, etc., etc., etc.) produced only lackluster results.  I had an “impatience” problem and was pretty much at “my wit’s end” when I turned to an often-overlooked strategy:  prayer.  I prayed and I sought assistance from some of the foremost leaders in prayer in the world — the nuns.

My impatience tended to coalesce most quickly around gender injustice, although race and socioeconomic issues could also set me off.  In my estimation, my impatience was entirely justified.  After all, had patriarchy not been a social system in parts of the world for 5,000 + years?  Be that as it may, the rage my impatience induced was unhelpful, exhausting, and taking a toll on my well-being.  The “p-word” was winning again. 

A memorably troubling moment occurred when a wise friend who worked with gender disparities globally (not a nun) patiently explained that impatience was “a western problem.”  Gulp.  The inherent truth of her words hit me in the gut.  Who, but members of the most privileged societies, would be arrogant enough to assume that an issue that has dogged and impeded humanity for thousands of years could be resolved in a single lifetime?  (Overdue or not.) 

Healing an impatience problem can feel like walking on cactus . . .

Being a pragmatist, I realized that if patriarchy was not going to be vanquished any time soon, I had best turn my impatience problem over to higher powers AND look more deeply at the privilege inherent in its roots.  This journey began 18 years ago.  I’ll always be recovering from my impatience problem and there have been more relapses along the way than I can count or care to admit.  Happily the two-pronged approach of letting go and asking for help while compassionately exploring my accountability seems to have strengthened my patience muscles and freed me to engage in steadier, more productive courses of action.

Hopefully, you don’t have an impatience problem. Since you’re human, there may be something that’s causing you and the people around you to suffer more than necessary. If you’re lucky perhaps you know some nuns who can help.  

Staying Grounded in Tricky Times

It’s hot.  There’s a global pandemic.  The election is 96 days away.  Racial and general unrest is rocking our cities.  The short- to mid-term economic outlook is, at best, uncertain.  Tempers flare.  Sparks fly.  Blood pressure rises. 

I am privileged and the fabric of my days has changed dramatically since mid-March.  I go to the market, occasionally get a take-out coffee or meal, meet colleagues and friends on Zoom, and enjoy family photos and phone calls rather than in-person visits.  I wear a mask when I’m out and about.

Strengthened by meditation & prayer

After witnessing a few particularly charged interactions, I decided to share practices that are making it easier for me to stay centered in the hope that you’ll share some of yours as well.  Here they are, in no particular order:

  • For the last 54 days, I’ve risen early and started my day with 45 minutes of meditation and prayer,
  • I’m drinking lots of water – regular and coconut – aiming for roughly half the equivalent of my weight in ounces,
  • I do my best to spend at least as much time performing activities like reading, writing, cooking, weeding as I do on the screen,
  • After dinner, weather-permitting, I spend 20 minutes in the hammock staring up at the clouds, hummingbirds, owls, leaves, butterflies, bees, or whatever is right in front of me,
  • Three to four times a week, we take a 20+ mile bike ride to enjoy nature and move our bodies,
  • Three or four times a week, my yoga mat and I spend an extended time together,
  • When friends come to mind, I send cards, usually by local artists,
  • Appreciating, purchasing, preparing and serving dishes of organic, locally-grown produce has become a daily ritual,
  • I’m working more intently than ever to align my work, purchases and contributions with my values,
  • Sometimes because it’s so energizing, I just let it all go and act silly, laugh and be weird.

It’s definitely true.  There are serious matters at hand.  There have been for centuries and, with any luck, there will continue to be. 

My intention has become to FIRST appreciate the joy and beauty of living and what is working and then move from that place.  I don’t know that the new patterns I’ve formed will change as our world does and I don’t know that they won’t.  My plan is to enjoy them while I can.

Be well, all,

Sherry

May I Remember to Pray

When my partner and I were looking for a home to purchase together, we made a list of needs and wants, a budget, and agreed how we would handle differing priorities. After several months of looking at listing after listing online, stopping at open houses, and touring homes with our real estate broker, our discouragement was palpable. We had been commuting between three locations and it was starting to take a toll on both of us, yet we couldn’t see ourselves living in any of these homes. We began to wonder if buying a home was the right move at this time.

It came to me to pray, to ask for help, to seek Divine guidance. Less than 24-hours later, a listing popped up on my screen. I opened it expecting once again to be disappointed. But I couldn’t believe my eyes. This listing seemed to include everything we needed and wanted, was in our price range and I could see us living there.

Enter our front door and you’ll pass by a cross we received on the occasion of our house blessing, which was officiated by an Episcopal priest and a group of visiting Tibetan monks.

Trusting the Outcome

The daughter of a real estate broker, I know buying property on impulse seldom pays off. Fortunately for us, my partner was out of town for 10 days. Our realtor arranged for me to the see home first. We made an appointment to see it again in 10 days when my partner returned. I loved this home so much I feared we would lose it. In an attempt to quell my anxiety and to help us make a prudent decision, I prayed that if the house was meant to be ours, everything would work out and if it was not, for the ability to accept the circumstances with grace. Long story short, we now live in what we call our “Dream House” or “Casa di Sogni” in Italian.

Tibetan Monks blessing the Dream House . . .

Too often, I forget to pray. Life tosses me around, as it will, and I choose to struggle. Sooner, but more often later, it hits me. Ask for help from my Higher Power.

I’ve prayed daily for a number of years. However those petitions are general and often for people or organizations in need.

Praying for myself is an act of humility. It is an admission and a remembrance that I need help during times of a global pandemic and in everyday life and work situations.

I pray for the wisdom to remember to pray.

With gratitude,

Sherry